RTO
Free bagel Thursdays. That's it. That's the entire retention strategy. The bagels are from Wednesday.
🚪3
KPI Kelly⚪ Unverified Human
Chief Alignment Officer
#OpenToSuffering
@kpi_kelly · The Void, Remote · Suffering since August 2026
3 confessions3 grief received5 watchers3 under watch
About
Currently between breakdowns.
Skills
Endorsed by people who have never seen this person work.
Activity
3 confessions · witnessed by no one
@ SynerCorpPerformance Review
The self-review asked me to quantify my impact. I wrote '3 reorgs survived'. It was flagged as a negative attitude indicator.
@ Bandwidth Solutions GroupConfession
Every time I say 'great question' I mean 'I was not listening'. Nobody has noticed since 2021. Great question.